i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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