I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
