I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You're a waste of cheezeits
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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