I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
