this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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