went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
