drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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