he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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