i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
