We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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