Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
