I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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