Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize