its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
