My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
