real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
