Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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