Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
