But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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