Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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