HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
