Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
