Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
