he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my shit smells like andre
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
