About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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