Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize