I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
