The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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