Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
