i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Help. Why am I so naked?
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