She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
