If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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