I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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