remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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