I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
