Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
