So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
