I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
