there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
