i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
