I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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