just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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