K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize