i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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