You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
