belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
