The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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