I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
