I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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