I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
