it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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