shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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