there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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