These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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