Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
