I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
