omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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