Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
