i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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