gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
