oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
