I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
pop tarts are not kleenex
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
3 2 1 whiskey
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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