last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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