We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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