Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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