So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
